Missed Connections: Venus and Mars in 2020 and hope in 2021
The bulk of this article was originally written for NCGR’s midautumn Memberletter. I’ve adapted the article in honor of my recent appearance on Astrology Hub to share with you now.
In my recent discussion with Amanda Pua Walsh on Astrology Hub, we mused about the positive shifts in relationships which lie ahead in 2021. We painted the backdrop with a focus on Saturn in Aquarius and its effects on our social lives from a collective and personal level – and then we took a closer look at a unique cosmic pattern I noticed between our personal planets, Venus and Mars. Venus and Mars are not vibing in 2020. They only perfect one single, solitary harmonious aspect the entire calendar year. This rare phenomenon is due in part to Venus and Mars’ consecutive retrogrades this year. They almost connected by trine and sextile, but each aspect was denied. And it seems to be reflective of our personal relationships this year. While we cringe at the news scroll, our personal relationships seem to be the private underbelly of this remarkably challenging year. We do not even need to know what is happening astrologically to understand the plethora of challenges this pandemic has imposed on our social and intimate lives. However, there is hope in 2021.
What I’ve discovered here is pretty cool, IMO. I just love when astrology surprises me – and that is STILL continues to amaze me time after time. While we didn’t have an opportunity to cover all of the remarkable nuances and broader social implications on the podcast, I have detailed them here in this article. So without further ado, let’s review the aspects Venus and Mars have made this year and then look forward into the juicy aspects in early 2021.
January 26th, 2020: Square #1 - Venus in Pisces squares Mars in Sagittarius. At face value, this is your typical routine square. Neither planet is particularly debilitated by sign, retrograde or combustion. Venus is exalted in poetic, sensual Pisces, where she encourages us to love and empathize on a soul level. There are no limits on love when Venus is in Pisces. She is infinitely compassionate, romantic, devoted and willing to go the distance for love. Mars, on the other hand, is peregrine and happy to roam free in the sign of Sagittarius. And these drastically different desires describe the tension of the square. When Venus riffs about her love for all beings, Mars in Sag says “why do you care so much?” He snorts at the mushy Spotify playlist she made for him and feels smothered when she tries to cuddle after sex. Mars doesn’t understand what she sees in him.
At this juncture, Wuhan becomes one of the first cities to enter lockdown on January 23rd. Even though Venus and Mars clash ideologically here, Venus makes a stronger case. Mars wants to roam, but there is now a need to stay inside and to come together for the greater good. We begin to need each other in new ways during this unprecedented time.
March and April: failed connection #1 - Throughout March and April, we see one of the sexiest combinations possible for Venus and Mars emerging on the horizon. Venus dignified in Taurus pursues Mars (exalted in Capricorn) by trine. It really doesn’t get much better than this, folks. Both parties are bringing their best versions of themselves to the table, and a trine is the most promising harmonious aspect. As hella juicy as this connection would be, it sadly never perfects. After two months of chasing Mars to no avail, Venus loses steam. Ah, Mars, the one who got away… It seems to reflect the real-life scenario of a promising relationship squashed by external circumstance. And sadly, it’s the truth. By middle of March, several countries worldwide had begun a lockdown, placing new pressures on all areas of our lives. Based on many real-life accounts, this celestial event corresponds with the budding connections whose flames fizzled out due to a sudden need to quarantine.
By April, the beauteous chemistry of our love planets drastically downgrades as they change signs simultaneously. Both are now peregrine. Aimless. Venus (now in Gemini) can’t go to the salon and she’s not feeling so hot. Mars in Aquarius has lost its projects and contained sense of purpose. We have lost the stability and security of the earth element when it comes to our relationships, and we are no longer presenting our best selves, but at least we are communicating (air) and the Zoom parties are lit! We are still in trine formation, so despite external pressures, we are holding out and making the most of it together.
May 2020: Venus stations retrograde – Venus in Gemini, in her own terms, misses her social life. She gets her way as the economy begins to reopen. People are eager to reconnect (although the retrograde also implies trepidation). A square with Neptune is ripe for romance, idealism and delusion. We are attempting to go back to normal but now with great trial and error.
Venus retrograde in general is about taking stock of our relationships. For newer relationships that sparked earlier in the year, some couples went ahead and quarantined together, only to learn that too much together time either made the relationship too serious too soon, or forced the couples to realize more rapidly how their values don’t quite align. On the other hand, some couples fared well, but certainly not without challenge. Long-distance relationships were encouraged to hold out in the trine phase, but by now, feel the pressure of extended separation. During this incomplete trine and into the upcoming challenging aspects, many long-term committed relationships are suddenly communicating more openly than ever – for better or for worse.
June 2nd, 2020: Square #2: Venus is mid-retrograde when she squares of with Mars again. This time, it’s a swift, mutually applying square, implicit of a more aggressive tone. Venus retrograde reclaims her more warlike tendencies while Mars in Pisces becomes the peaceful warrior with a noble cause. Mars in Pisces will fight, but only if it has to. Mars has triplicty in Pisces, tempering its quick-flaring nature – and is now occupying the position of Venus’ exaltation. In other words, Mars is fighting for Venusian values of equality, fairness and justice – but we are still fighting!
This square arrives in the wake of George Floyd’s murder. Social and political tensions peak with outrage, protests, demonstrations and rioting abound. Violence is indeed the topic of the month. And depending on one’s value system, folks are either upset about racism and police brutality, or upset about vandalism and looting (or maybe both). By the looks of Mars and Venus’ dynamic here, Venus is done being nice. We have reached a critical breaking point. Pent up and fed up, we start snapping. This appears to be a pivotal point in our personal relationships as well, adding a whole new layer of social tensions amongst our peers and our extended families. Several people disowned racist family members, friends and followers. We can clearly see how the Mars act of severing and separating is now in the fore. However, there are redeeming properties to this aspect, namely, compassionate, though difficult dialogue amongst peers, family members and even within our own selves as many of us examine our racist programing on a deeper level.
July 2020: Failed connection #2: Are tensions finally mellowing? While the issues haven’t gone away, the coals are simmering, and we can begin to warm up to one another once again… perhaps? Once again it looks like Mars and Venus will link up harmoniously, this time by sextile. Have we reached a point of acceptance of a strange new normal? We do our best to carry on with life, working around the obstacles in place. Venus, having just stationed direct in Gemini is slightly ahead of Mars in Aries by zodiacal degree. We hope to see them meet, but sadly, as Venus gains in speed, Mars is now ready to slow down. It’s as if we keep missing each other. Our timing just isn’t right. Or something if off in our connection.
One of the most common things I’m hearing from singles is that this year has taught them to slow down and figure out what they really want in a relationship. People are working on themselves, and more willing to wait for the right partner(s). After all, isn’t it enough to worry about STD’s, now we have to worry about covid too? Trust is a huge priority for folx, as well as being in alignment with each other’s value system. I’m hearing others describe a now stronger vetting system before they go ahead and meet up with someone in person. This missed sextile reminds me of this theme. One person feels the facetime date went well and hopes to connect in real life, while the other person doesn’t feel as aligned. This also just reminds me of wanting to hug our loved ones and refraining from doing so. Mars is still the stronger planet, so the tendency still veers on cutting things off, keeping boundaries and distance.
September 4th, 2020: Square #3 - Venus now holds triplicity in Cancer, but Mars is still stronger in its domicile – plus, it’s still technically direct, and it holds the superior position. Mars overpowers Venus who is also getting beat up by the Capricorn dumpster fire. So, no, it’s not a very happy time for Venus at all! The twist? Venus occupies the sign of Mars’ fall, while Mars occupies the sign of Venus’ detriment. It’s a strange sort of mutual reception which seems to acknowledge one another’s weaknesses, imperfections and blind spots – as well as our own! For relationships on the rocks, this could be a mutual ghosting, a mutual though painful breakup, or conversely, this could be a mutual decision to move in together knowing that we’ve already seen each other at our worst this year and we can accept one another.
September 28th, 2020: Our solitary harmonious aspect of the year is a lovely trine. However, it’s short lived (as both planets are mutually applying) and with Mars still retrograde, it’s really not all that cozy. But with Venus in Leo and Mars in Aries, we have heat! And sparks are flying! Flames reignite, invigorating relationships and perhaps rekindling connections placed on the backburner from a socially distant year. It’s easy to find common ground for once. Maybe we can even be angry about something together? Venus has no dignity here in Leo, but once the aspect completes, Venus transgresses into Virgo, the sign of its fall, which seems to describe the increased tensions which followed the first presidential debate just a couple days after this aspect. Short-lived indeed.
November 9th, 2020: Opposition – This last aspect of the year is by far the most contentious. And here in the United States, the timing impeccably follows the presidential election (as if on cue). What we have are two domiciled planets in an opposition. Venus in Libra faces off with Mars in Aries. Both extremely strong, both extremely different. It seems to reflect the distinctively polarized climate here in the States and elsewhere in the world. With no other aspects getting involved, this is a true standoff. In horary, we would interpret this as an impossibility to reach an agreement; each firm in their own convictions, neither party is willing to bend. Mars is retrograde (weaker), but is stationing to move direct (strong), so while Mars might be slightly more off kilter than Venus, it’s extremely difficult to predict which planet will come out on top. We can expect this considerable tension to cross over into our personal lives as well – whether it’s a political disagreement or personal dispute. And by the time this article goes to print, we may already be seeing the effects of this polarizing transit. Even without astrology, we can see what’s ahead – social media disputes, breakups, unfriending, disagreements, arguments… The astrology here is just simply reflecting an intensification of these two polarities. My advice for readers is to try to stay in your center this week. Anger certainly has its place, but we might be more effective if we can find a way to merge outrage with diplomacy.
Hope for Love Ahead
Aren’t we all looking forward to 2021? When it comes to the aspects of Venus and Mars, we have good reason! The first two aspects they complete in 2021 are indeed harmonious. And there’s something super interesting about them I’d like to point out. Recall that incredibly juicy trine that was denied back in March with Venus in Taurus and Mars in Capricorn. On 1/9/2021, the two flip signs and complete the aspect! Indeed, Venus in Capricorn and Mars in Taurus finally achieve that earth trine. Might this feel like a sense of closure? Like we’ve finally come full circle somehow? Sure, Mars is debilitated in Taurus, but we still get the juiciness of a mutual reception. Are we finally in a place where we can reach some more stability in our relationships? Mars is slightly wounded, but Venus says, hey “you have something I need, and I have something you want. Shall we give it a go?”
A similar scenario repeats again with the missed sextile of July when Mars was in Aries and Venus was in Gemini. On April 6th, 2021, Mars and Venus finally complete their sextile but in flipped signs! Venus in Aries sextiles Mars in Gemini. This time, it’s Venus who is in detriment, but she’s at least in her own terms, while Mars holds a small slice of dignity (face). No one is overpowering the other, and it certainly feels like we have come full circle, finishing what felt incomplete the year prior. Is that neat or what?! I also see this is a time of coming full circle within ourselves in terms of feeling more confident about how we’d like to cocreate with others.
So what’s the big take-away?
As Venus and Mars have struggled to connect this year, many of our relationships have indeed suffered due to pressures of the pandemic. Be it from too much together time cloistered at home, or the strains of an international long-distance relationship waiting for the travel bans to lift. Many of us have been forced to pare down the number of people we see on a regular basis, trimming down our social circle. But fortunately, many of us have been able to find the silver linings during this time. Our social-distanced significator, Saturn in Aquarius, is still an overarching theme in 2021 year, and ultimately asks us, “how badly do you want to socialize with this person, or in this way? Here’s what it will take to achieve.” Saturn also minimizes the bulk in our lives so that we can focus on the things that really matter. It’s been a year of figuring out our priorities (Venus retrograde) and figuring out what we really want (Mars retrograde). Our social lives have certainly suffered to varying degrees, but it’s a big reset. The opportunity presented to us is to reassess the kinds of relationships we want – and fully choose them as we move forward.